I was very touched by the contribution called The Art of Seeing. All my life I have also suffered from extreme myopia but fortunately this was detected when I was 6 because I could not see the blackboard. Since then I have worn glasses which both make life easier and safer yet also preclude real seeing and connection with the world in many ways.
I see how the physical posture of grasping at objects with sight excludes the wider visual field and how this contracted attitude is reflected or reflects my general way of dealing with that world. Why did I become so short sighted? Was it to avoid what was too overwhelming? Certainly it encourages dreaming as the world appears so vague and trying to be precise in either seeing or anything else is often very difficult. I have also narrowed my world by spending much time with academic study or books, the very activities which exacerbate poor sight…
The constant struggle to pin things down to an understandable size and shape creates enormous tension and though there is safety of sorts in fixing on one thing rather than being open to the constant stream of impressions of the world, it is also dangerous because I am then not aware of the rest of the visual field. However, when I have practised techniques to widen the field, there is an extraordinary sense of life and relaxation in both eyes and self and then there is no threat. This is mainly when I have the impression of myself as well as what I see and it is not surprising that autistic people often flap their hands in front of their eyes. I think this is because the world is too frightening when there is no sense of I , so they shield themselves from it with the finger movements as well as reminding themselves they are there and in the picture.
The question for me is how can I dare to open to the visual impressions of the world whether they are clear or not and can I accept them as they are? At times it is possible. This is something that I expect to search forever and so far that search has been as fruitful as it has painful since how I see myself is part of how I see the world.
Susan Lacroix
Written in response to The Art of Seeing